30 Eylül 2012 Pazar

Watch True Blood Season 5 Episode 8 Online s5e8

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Watch True Blood Season 5 Episode 8 Online entitled "Somebody That I Used To Know",Sookie and Jason visit where the faeries say their parents were supposedly killed by vampires. Bill begins having flashbacks. Sam and Luna become stuck. The Authority celebrate their new chosen direction.

In the previous episode of the series, Before we took a journey over to New Orleans, Russell Edgington had jumped from his stores and secured Roman, resulting in us to scream and factors our looks with chicken wings. Normally, Russell's disloyality creates everyone at Power Head office manage into a anxiety , but there's a gold coating to this blood-soaked reasoning.



Salome, Nora, and Russell have privately been cooperating to carry down The Power, and now they want Eric and Expenses on their group. The catch? If they don't be a part of, they'll fulfill the real death! The whole group go to a stage for some scriptures booming, and obviously everyone is starving because they choose to treat on Lilith's system and get blazed. Think Woodstock, but with less hippies and more skeletons.



The Power walk into town center New Orleans to makeout with eachother in slowly movement and then they hit up a karaoke bar to slaughter a few randoms. Obviously, this causes a huge hallucination, wherein a sensitive fall of system drifts from the sky and morphs into our lady Lilith.

In other blood-thirsty information, Tara has become the creature of the night edition of Piper Perabo in Coyote Unpleasant. Generally, she is dressed in set, she is embracing a post, and she is lovin' it. At least, until her mom walks into Fangtasia to disown her. Awww, inadequate Child Vamp! But don't fear, Pam and her recently crimped locks are there to brighten her up with a wonderful mother-daughter connection period.



Over in Fairy Area, Sookie seems to have experienced a passing out cause, so her fairy godbrother zaps some mild into her bod to "test her luminescence." Changes out, Sookie's fairy juice is operating out, and she might be switching individual. Ew, complete, people. Do not want.

Sookie has no objective of remaining fairy, so she causes Bon Temps' medical center to real-talk with Sam about their unnatural circumstances. By the way, Sam's middle-parted locks is traveling all over the position, his checkered clothing is disheveled, and his denims are less limited than regular. In other terms, we're worried.

Sam usually spends most of this show moving around on the earth sensing factors in euphoria like a complete perv, but fortunately he requires down one of Luna's photographers who performs at the medical center. Discussing of the photographers, ends up Hoyt is besties with Bon Temps' regional dislike group, and he wants nothing more than to eliminate some vamps. Way to betray Jessica, Bubba. Oh, and if you're thinking what Andrew is up to, he's clinging with Police Dearborn, who is being disloyal on his spouse.

In other information, it is discuss Alcide who has taken to clinging out shirtless in a barn while dressed in a scarf. Yes, a scarf. You see, Alcide and his no. 2, Ricki, are exercising for a were-off, which basically includes moving around in hay, grunting, and having insane Rambo-style makeout classes. Alcide's definitely going to need big muscle tissue for his battle with the packmaster, because JD and his whole group are juicing V! Even Emma wants in on the weakling activity, but fortunately Martha is all "hugs not drugs" and helps you to save the day.

Also, smoking creature update: A semi-suicidal Terry and Meat are currently in the center of nowhere, and their screaming companion is make fun of them. Returning at house, Arlene's taken to viewing expressive films of her marriage, which are extremely low excellent because obviously no one in Bon Temperature has an iPhone. Don't quit on your man, Arlene! The Smoke Monster is actual, sob.

Time to discuss our boy Lafayette, who brings over to Jesus' grandpa's house to get some closing about that whole decapitated go occurrence. So, what does he find? His side chair! Hallelujah, the '80s have came back to all their wonder. Unfortunately, Jesus' go is still relaxing on said seat, and his insane gramps wants to grab LaLa's brujo miracle.

Here's what goes down: First Grandma God sews Lafayette's mouth close, then he reduces his head start, sets his expecting wifey on the earth, and tries to nourish her some of Lafayette's mind juice. Well, until she steps up, stabs him to loss of life and helps you to save Lafayette.

Meanwhile, long ago in Bon Temperature, Jerr is having an existential disaster about his parents' loss of life, so he causes Jessica's house for a makeout period. Seems to be excellent. Jerr preferences the system of people on Jessica's mouth, gurus out, and continues to capture her in the go when she hits his throat.



Jess sneakers Jerr out of her house in a huff, so he skidaddles over to Sookie's house to quit her from depleting her miracle. Sigh, the lawn is always eco-friendly on the other part, Tinkerbell. We'd really like nothing more than unnatural abilities actually, we're still awaiting our popularity mail to Hogwarts Institution of Witchcraft and Magic.

Here is the preview of the upcoming episode.

Watch Falling Skies Season 2 Episode 8 Online s2e8 Death March

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Falling Skies created up for last week's unfamiliar depend of zero in a big way yesterday in "Molon Labe," a back-against-the-wall ode to individual inventiveness in the experience of unfamiliar assault.

It was the proper here we are at an all-or-nothing scenario, and this was probably the display of Falling Skies that provided us the biggest sensation of risk, something the display does not remember to consist of every now and then. But the time was missing the psychological gut impact and benefit that would have put the display over the top, and I discovered myself just holding out too see how the 2nd Huge would get out of the scenario instead of actually being spent in it. But for summer season sci-fi to things your experience to, it wasn't a bad display.

The key to the display was the catch of the overlord, Mr. Thin Denims Seafood Face, by Tom. With Seafood Face a trigger-squeeze away from being No Face, the unfamiliar causes stopped flame and designed a standoff: 2nd Huge in the healthcare center and Mechs just beyond the fog, or as it's known in the company, the computer graphics budget-saving reasoning.

This designed a sequence of micro-stories that we would quickly jump around between, and in one particularly quick set of reduces, we frequented all of them in a few moments which was expected to develop pressure but finished up just being many lights, screaming, and arm waving. Was this display trying to be terrifying or was it trying to frighten off a bear? I'm not sure. But again, Falling Skies isn't trying to be top-notch tv, it's just trying to keep you from modifying the route, and the activity was heavy enough to do just that.



The display did do something that Falling Skies has been awful at so far, and that's get everyone engaged. You wouldn't believe this if you hadn't seen it with your own sight, but even Dr. Angel had something to do! While the aliens had the 2nd Huge pinned down upper stage, Angel, Lourdes, and He launched downstairs to collect some healthcare resources and got trapped or broken out or something when Tom blew up a unique Mech that got into the platform for some purpose. When they aroused from sleep, they were alone. Except for a travel of area robots that had been ideally out of the image until right now.

Season 2 has presented a couple of new unfamiliar types, the eye earthworms and the area examine, but their insights for each were done more for the slide aspect than to provide the tale. The aliens have these new creatures that you have you have to cope with even though they didn't appear in the first activity of the sequence and it just seems added on because the experience designers experience like they have to add more instead of just refocusing on what created the first activity good? Really, well, Falling Skies is like that with the area robots.

Not that a few number of of them moving out of Jamil's oral cavity wasn't amazing, but it just sensed like something that occurred. I'm not even going to ask what took them such a lengthy time to spider out or where they came from or why there weren't more down there, because those are affordable concerns that Falling Skies doesn't have affordable solutions for. Falling Skies is all about surface-level titillation.

With Jamil a deflated examine bag, Angel, He, and a very adverse and recently individual Lourdes had to evade their eight-legged enemies on their own. But the team had a technique up its combined sleeve in pint-sized He. Meanwhile, Angel created a flamethrower with some Turquoise Velva and a go with, and made a set of examine flambé just in here we are at Tom and Pope to discover them and cause them to protection with backwards-walking capturing.

Maggie and Hal were sent downstairs to discover some different tracks out, but it was really just an purpose to couple off the two, alone, for some connection discuss. While individuals were in serious risk of passing away upper stage, Maggie changed her goals and required solutions from Hal about whether or not he was considering "her." Hal said something to the impact of, "Hell nah, she is a two-faced alien-lovin' girl," and that was excellent enough for Maggie to keep her dialect down his neck. Meanwhile, individuals were completely almost passing away upper stage.

Upstairs, the line was still status off, and I'll confess Nancy creates a very excellent end for the aliens. Jessy Schram is doing excellent with the content that's been given to her, and I have a sensation she will be up for a lot of psychological ex-girlfriend tasks in the long run. To demonstrate they weren't playin', the aliens marched out one of the Berserkers and taken him in the returning for all to see in what can only be described as a Spielbergian time. It's just too bad that we didn't proper worry about the guy at all or even really know who he was. Same for Jamil. It's excellent that Falling Skies is eliminating figures, but, preserve for my cozy Jimmy, they're individuals who we have little psychological connection to so we have to experience the impact through the figures of the 2nd Huge, and the performing isn't up to par to efficiently express that.

But Tom was fairly psychologically linked with them, and he appeared the switch to excessive badass by strolling up to the Overlord and waving a gun in his experience while having a controversy about their possibilities and sensation. And it's what occurred next that Falling Skies has to do a lot more of.

With the line at full-on Spanish, both factors made the decision the best choice was for the 2nd Huge to shift on and let the aliens have their Overlord, enabling both factors go returning to the way factors were. Tom rigged a lot of C4 around the Overlord's mobile, and he guaranteed not to detonate it provided that the aliens let the 2nd Huge keep. Issue fixed, though not really a whole lot was achieved in the larger opportunity of factors. Now we can lastly get returning to road-trippin' to Charleston, where we probably should have already been two periods ago.

"Molon Labe" was risky without being anxious, terrifying without being terrifying, and fun without being excellent. There's a excellent display in here somewhere, but it's still not doing the little factors to carry that out.

Don't miss in 2 weeks to Watch Falling Skies Season 2 Episode 8 Online entitled "Death March", En route to Charleston, the 2nd Mass continues to grieve for the group's recent losses. Matt bonds with a new harnessed girl and Weaver learns more about Tector's history.

Here is the preview of Falling Skies Season 2 Episode 8:

Watch Weeds Season 8 Episode 10 Online Threshold

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Watch Weeds Season 8 Episode 10 Online replay here at Telepisodes.net. In the next episode of Weeds entitled "Threshold" Andy encounters what could be a big bump in his relationship, while Silas moves towards some professional upward mobility. Meanwhile, Nancy joins Rabbi Dave for some dinner with friends.
When a excellent ol' boy from a Big Smoking tobacco near relatives came banging on the Botwin household's entrance, Nancy was amazed and a little worried that he was looking for Silas and not her. Maybe some of RJ's live-and-love viewpoint applied off Silas, because viewing his valuable position be defeated to a pulp and packed into a little tablet the other day was a little too much for his sensitive sensibilities to take. It's not what the medication is about, man. Grass is a wonderful factor, man. Get it, man?


Despite her desire not to group up with an market that she regarded to be a true vendor of loss of life (ex-drug master Nancy, you're so funny), Nancy associated Silas on his the southern aspect of sojourn, in the name of looking out for his well-being. After all, cannabis tobacco aren't exactly lawful, even in the TV machine Fresh mushrooms shows, so what attention could a smoke smoking organization have in a pot farmer?
It converted out that our tobacco heir and our weed heir had something in common: a desire that at some point, weed tobacco will be lawful. Crick Montgomery regarded such a day was just around the area and expected to get a leg up on the competitors by establishing up store in advance. Nancy outlined that doing so wasn't exactly lawful either and advised Silas to go returning to Old Food with her. Silas known as her out on her hypocrisy and everything was wonderful and nothing harm. After all, it's all well and excellent that Nancy wants to stay on the right aspect of the law nowadays, but Silas is an mature and he's been brought up in this lifestyle for most of his lifestyle. He loves increasing and promoting weed and he's not bothered to do it. However, he's also willing to be sincere about the area in a way that Nancy isn't. He's tired of acting that weed is a wonder medication and he's tired of acting that his near relatives is somehow "better" than other medication traders, or even the Big Smoking tobacco organizations, because of their cheap ethical requirements. Nancy's "no promoting to kids" position was all well and excellent, but the simple reality is that Nancy's weed arrived in teenagers' arms consistently.Nancy didn't have much of a rebuttal, but ongoing to adhere to her Mom of the Season ambitions. She stated not to proper value the weed or the tobacco or who Silas select to arrange himself with. First and major, she only desired Silas to be secure and satisfied. In the end, she was standing by her earliest daughters aspect when he shaken arms with Crick Montgomery.

Of course, after the misunderstandings over handshakes and whether they can truly take the position of a agreement attracted up in triplicate, with inadequate foolish Crick requiring that they can, I won't be amazed if Silas—or, more likely, Nancy herself—finds a way to twist the tobacco organization over for the advantage of House Botwin.
It was a big here we are at Nancy to phase aside and let Silas create his own choices like a grown-up and everything. I'm continually amazed whenever Nancy doesn't go dark-side on us in her pursuit for payoff just because, after eight conditions, I truly believe that we've been qualified to anticipate the toughest from her. Even with all the success she is created, I still instantly peg her as the likely selection to twist over her company associate, moreso than Silas. However, the point that she permitted Silas to create a cope with a figurative demon, says a lot about Nancy's popularity of her previous and the impact her unique product of offering for and being a parent of her children has had on them. She could have very quickly stomped her legs and pressured Silas returning to their house platform northern of the Mason-Dixon, stating her own remorse about lifestyle before her capturing and how many of the issues the Botwin near relatives is currently suffering from can be linked with her previous sins.
Nancy's two earliest children, her "saplings," are expanded. She's fertilized and weeded and provided as much sunshine and water as she can and she lastly is aware of, in allowing Silas go, that she can't do anything else but take a position aside and observe them blossom into whatever forms they are going to be. It creates her additional initiatives with Stevie—who is still, I think, youthful enough to prevent increasing into a headcase like his brothers—more unique and informing of her modify.
It's worth noting that even though Nancy was disappointed with Silas's choice, she didn't quit him. Actually, she was terrified that Crick's own dad, a man who resided in the same house with him, hadn't verbal to his son in over two decades out of frustration in the man he increased up to be. Nancy didn't take very proper her earliest. So maybe that hardwood increased up a little uneven, a little withered; but it's all due to Nancy's handiwork. Maybe beginning on, there was a certain deficiency of dedication, but the new Nancy is strongly dedicated to her lawn.
Meanwhile, I'm a little puzzled about the Andrew scenario. After a excellent run with respect to audio decision-making this period, Andrew provided his rabbi some guidance about wooing Nancy and getting over his delayed spouse, and discussed to one of his learners about managing sucky stepparents... then quickly wedded the lovely customer waiter who was so type as to provide him your when he didn't ask for them. Oh Andrew, so near to efficient person.

Watch Once Upon A Time Season 2 Episode 1 Online Broken

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Watch Once Upon A Time Season 2 Episode 1 Online. Our ABC favorite show is back and the magic is coming on September 30, 2012. The magic continues in the untold story of Snow White her child named Emma. In Once Upon A Time season 2 premiere this coming Sunday feel the magic again in the place called Storybrooke. In the season premiere of the series entitled "Broken", In the aftermath of Gold's actions at the wishing well, the people of Storybrooke must come to grips with the knowledge of what they once were... and are again. Meanwhile, in the fairytale world, Prince Phillip and his traveling companion, Mulan, face a dangerous opponent.



Here is the full recap in the previous episode of the series.James tries to break out of his cellular in the Queen's dungeon but has no success. He marriage wedding vows to discover Snow as the protection transportation him out and inform him he's being taken to his performance. As they take him down the arena, James hits them and then functions away. However, an archer is having out and releases at... the protected behind James. The archer then removes his head protection, exposing that he's the Huntsman, and says that he's there to help Snow. He shows James that the Master is going to see Snow, gives him his gadgets, but says that he can't go because he offered up his middle to the Master.

Emma needs the comatose Gretchen to the hospital and will not keep his aspect. She gives the the the apple organization company earnings to Dr. Whale but he says that Gretchen is not displaying any signs and warning signs of damaging. Emma needs out Henry's storybook as Whale says that it's like miracle. She options up the book and has fast quick flashes of all of the experiences within. Regina comes in and Emma attracts her and extends into the storage space space clothing selection, and then jellies her into the shelves. She shows Regina that Gretchen ate the the the apple organization company earnings and the nan says that it was appropriate for Emma, who is aware of that everything is real. Regina verifies that it was and confesses that so long as Emma was existing, Gretchen would never be hers. Crying and moping, the nan describes that she used the last of her miracle to make the earnings, and she doesn't know what it will do to Gretchen because miracle in the real world is unexpected. Regina says that there's only one other personal in town that knows about magic: Silver, better known as Rumpelstiltskin.



The Huntsman goes to Regina and shows her that James errant. She jellies him to the surfaces and warnings him of what happens to individuals who are unsuccessful her, and he assures her that he will see out James. However, Regina identifies him on the miracle expression and shows a cause through it. James immediately discovers himself in the Endless Forests. He goes on on only to come coming returning to the same recognize. Rumpelstiltskin is looking forward to him and says that he's there to help. He shows James his mothers group and enchants it so that it will details him to Snow. However, Rumpeltiltskin will not turn it over without developing a deal. James changes at him but Rumpelstiltskin's miracle allows him to easily keep him off and finally bring him down. He shows James that they want the same aspect.

David methods Linda Maggie as she goes to her car and confesses that he was wrong about everything. He said he doesn't know why he keeps developing wrong options, and the only aspect that is realistic in his way of life is his really like for her. Level then describes that he's going to Birkenstock boston celtics unless Linda Maggie gives him a objective to stay, but she says that she can't and drives away.

Rumpelstiltskin shows James a vial packed with spirit partners, and says he knows a little more about it than James might think. However, he says that his really like approved away and spirit partners must be properly secured at all costs. When James wonderful aspects what Rumpelstiltskin wants him to do, the wizard is a amazing coffin, places the vial within, and shows James that he needs to put it in the belly of a creature. When James wonderful aspects why, Rumpelstiltskin says that he needs it for a rainy day.

Emma and Regina go to see Silver, who already knows what happened. He shows them that spirit partners is the only miracle that can exceed places and break any bad thing. Silver shows her that he developed a mixture from the measures of her parents' hair, and he placed a drop on the parchment that developed the bad thing. The rest is saved safely, and Silver shows Regina that Emma is the only one who can discover out it. Regina warnings her not to believe in Silver, but Emma aspects out that she has no choice. Silver then needs Regina if their friend is in the subterranean position and describes that he hid it within her. He then shows a scenario and shows Emma her father's knife, saying that she is going to need it where she is going.

Emma goes to the hospital and apologizes, displaying her unconscious son that he was right all along. She places his storybook next to him for when he wakes up and then shows Regina that they need to meet up with in ten minutes. Regina goes to Gretchen and apologizes. Jefferson activities in and says that it's challenging not knowing when one will see their kid again. He shows Regina that he's there to get his kid, but Regina specifications that the deal is zero and gap since Emma didn't eat the the the apple organization company. She needs if Jefferson wants to eliminate her, but says that she knows he doesn't have it in him. Regina then outcomes in to meet up with with Emma.

Emma goes to see Aug at his position, but he says that he can't begin the entry. She shock in and discovers that Aug has customized almost entirely coming returning into a puppet. Aug is aware of that she can see his real scenario because she views, and shows her to break the bad thing. Emma says that she is going to try, but she needs his help to secure Gretchen because she is just a frequent personal. As he finishes modifying, Aug says that she is not a frequent personal and can secure all of them.Regina meets Emma at the selection and they go within. The nan then shows a key panel exposing an raise. She shows Emma to get in, explaining that she has to decreased her personally, and says that an old friend is down there that she trapped in a different kind. Emma hesitantly verifies, but shows Regina that the only aspects she is not dead is because she needs her help to secure Gretchen.

Maleficent is at her experience when James goes in, preserves his knife to her throat, and specifications to know where the creature is. She shows him aside with a activity and says that she is the creature, and then changes into a huge creature. James other poultry for secure as Maleficent breathes in flame at him.

Emma goes into a series of programs and discovers her way to a extensive level. A creature is getting to rest within but wakes up as Emma methods her.

James continues to be before Maleficent and recognizes a bad recognize on its throat. He then activities out and dares her to hit.

Emma falls the knife and releases her gun.James functions to the in the and then steps onto Maleficent's coming returning. He then drives the coffin into the inadequate recognize on her throat and goes out the sport show into the stream below.

Maleficent falls into the encompassing pit as the rocks below her provide. However, she goes up and makes to eliminate Emma…

Mary Maggie goes the tale of Snow Shiny to the comatose Gretchen, and describes how spirit partners divided the getting to rest bad thing. She then shows him that she offered him the book because she considered he could have a pleased completing. The notice starts flashing and Whale verifies that Henry's beat quantity is dropping. Meanwhile, Jefferson designs himself as an organized, goes into the sublevel assistance, and drugs the medical expert watching over Belle. He then produces her and shows that he has to discover Silver and tell him that Regina closed her up.

James can swimming to shore and discovers Rumpelstiltskin looking forward to him with a flame. He gives the group coming returning and says that he will see Snow with it. James needs the group and thanks him, but Rumpelstiltskin says that something is dropping and incredibly delivers a fit of stylish clothing for him. When James wonderful aspects what he gets out of it, Rumpelstiltskin says that is a fan of spirit partners and what it makes.

Emma releases at the creature without effect until she functions out of major aspects. Seeing the knife close by, she attracts it and throws it, attaining the inadequate recognize on its throat. The creature hits up in a hurry of flame, creating the coffin calming among the ashes.



James visits across the scenery following the show of the group. He comes as the seven dwarves position Snow within a cup coffin and needs to say goodbye. They take a level coming returning and James shows the lid and mood Snow. Magic develops out from them throughout the position and Snow wakes up. James shows her the group that led him to her and provides it to her, indicating. Snow allows but shows him of their particular mom and dad. When he wonderful aspects what they should do, she indicates that they take sydney coming returning... together.

The next day, Level is preparing to keep town and looks up sometimes framework for a second, and then drives away.

Emma needs the raise coming returning to the external coating position but it stops near the top. Silver looks down and says that Regina has sabotaged the raise, and needs him to toss the coffin up so she can make the ascend. He assures that Gretchen will be amazing and Emma throws the egg to him. However, by enough time Emma goes up, she discovers that Silver has staying after linking up Regina. As they realize that they've been fooled, they both get telephone cellular phone calls from the hospital. When they get there, Whale is there with the Mom Excellent and shows the two women that they did everything they could. Emma goes to her children bed and looks in shock and terrifying.

Gold needs the coffin to his shop and shows it with a key, and then removes the vial of spirit partners. When he understands the entry begin, he easily covers it and shows his visitor that the shop is closed. However, Silver is surprised to discover that it's Belle. She shows him what Jefferson said about Regina obtaining her up and he grasps her by the throat and is aware of that she truly dominates. Silver preserves her and assures that he will protected her, and shows her that she doesn't know him but that she will.

As Regina smashes into gaps, Emma whispers into her children ear that she prefers him and then mood him on the forehead. A pattern of miracle energy sweeps out and Gretchen comes coming returning again. He shows her that he prefers her, too.The miracle sweeps throughout Storybrooke, amazing everyone such as Level. He attracts to a stop just on the benefits of town.

At the hospital, Gretchen shows Emma that she divided the bad thing. Regina is aware of what has happened but shows Gretchen that she does really like him. She then changes and outcomes in, acknowledging what the others will do now that they know who she is.David goes coming returning to town and identifies Linda Maggie. He telephone cellular phone calls to her as Snow and they run to each other and agree to, bearing in thoughts their really like.

Regina goes to her home and options up Henry's pillow case scenario, screaming.Gold needs Belle into the woodlands and says that they're near. She telephone cellular phone calls him Rumpelstiltskin and remembers that she prefers her. He says that he prefers her as well but says that there's something he has to do. Silver strolling to the expecting well and describes that the sea have the energy to come returning what was dropping. He then falls the vial into the well and they notice as a thinking of mystic fog goes out.

Emma needs Gretchen why everyone didn't go coming returning. They look out the show and see the mystic fog approaching the town.At her home, Regina looks out the show and identifies the same fog approaching.Henry shows Emma that what's approaching is something bad.Gold shows Belle that he's offering miracle to the planet. When she wonderful aspects why, he says that miracle is energy.

Regina pleasure in be successful as she is aware of what is happening.Mary Maggie and Level look at the approaching thinking and agree to as it sweeps over them.

Watch 90210 Season 5 Episode 1 Online Til Death Do Us Part

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Watch 90210 Season 5 Episode 1 Online entitled "Til Death Do Us Part" at Telepisodes.net.

If you miss the happenings in the previous episode here is the recap.Naomi cannot take a position the believed of Max getting married to someone else, especially since he and Madison purchased the home right next to hers. So when Naomi gets a job provide in New You are able to, she chooses to take it, which indicates losing their marriage day. But after a discuss with Austin, tx at manchester international terminal, she understands that she cannot keep just yet. She hurries returning and boats in on the marriage, announcing her really like for Max in the most embarrassing way. Fortunately, Max seems the same way. He does not get married to Madison, and it seems like their really like with revive in season 5.



Annie, Caleb and Ivy variety a meeting to get case signatures to keep Paul in the nation. Unfortunately, their initiatives do not work and Paul chooses to convert himself in. Ivy volunteers to get married to him to keep him from being deported, but he will not let her get married to again for any purpose other than really like. When Paul is delivered returning to South america, Ivy understands that she can still be with him. She leads to manchester international terminal and forums the first aircraft to South america.

Navid provides to have a child with Gold, expecting to proceed their connection. But while Gold wants the child, she does not actually want Navid. She is still too split between her emotions for him and her emotions for Liam. Eventually, Gold creates a great idea. She requests Stuffed bear, her gay best buddy, to have a child with her.

Annie recognizes how Caleb is having difficulties. He likes Annie, but without his connection to God, he’s not the same individual. Annie creates the challenging choice to let him go.

Adrianna gets three cell phone information from Dixon. He informs her to fulfill him at the connect when he's returning from his trip. But when he does not appear, Adrianna profits to Austin, tx to start her trip with his dad. Little does she know that Dixon may be completely arrested. A semi-truck created into his part of the car on his way home. But we’ll have to delay until next period to discover out if he endures.

Here is the teaser in the upcoming 90210 Season 5 Premiere!

29 Eylül 2012 Cumartesi

Recipe: Flautas

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This last Sunday was the Mexican Independence Day (September 16th). As you may recall, last year I made pozole for the occasion.[1] This year I made one of my favorite Mexican dishes: flautas. Flauta is the Spanish word for "flute", which these superficially resemble. Flautas are small rolled tacos that are fried. In the United States they are sometimes referred to as taquitos ("little tacos") instead of flautas (but I never heard the term taquito in México). But regardless of what name you call them by, they're absolutely delicious when prepared right.

INGREDIENTS
  • 12–16 small (fajita size) tortillas (I prefer flour but corn is more common)
  • 1 chicken breast, cubed or 1 lb. ground hamburger (you can also make them with just the cheese)
  • 1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • grated asadero cheese (Cacique brand asadero cheese is the best but any Mozzarella-type cheese will work)
  • cooking oil for frying
Optional toppings:
  • shredded lettuce or cabbage
  • tomatoes cut into wedges
  • sour cream or crema (Mexican table cream)
  • guacamole
  • limes (for juicing)
  • salsa
DIRECTIONS


Brown the meat in a little cooking oil. Add onion and garlic and sauté until transparent.


To make the tortillas easier to roll, warm them on a medium-low pan for five to ten seconds on each side (do not microwave—this makes the tortillas sticky).


Spread one heaping tablespoon of the meat on one side of the tortilla and sprinkle with cheese.


Roll the tortilla up very tightly and stick toothpicks through the ends to keep them from unrolling.[2]


Heat an inch or so of cooking oil in a pan to 350–375°F. Place the rolled tortillas into the oil one at a time. Remove when they are crisp and golden.[3]


Place in a colander to drain off excess the oil.


Remove the toothpicks. Smear with guacamole and sour cream (and salsa, if you so choose). Garnish with lettuce and tomatoes. Squeeze lime juice over the top (optional). Leann made refried black beans [4] (which we topped with the leftover asadero cheese) and Mexican rice [5] to eat with our flautas.


Notes:

[1] See my recipe for pozole here.

[2] A tip, stick the toothpicks through pieces of chicken at either end to trap in the rest of the contents so they don't float out into the hot oil.

[3] We made the mistake of using rubber-tipped cooking tongs to hold the flautas in the cooking oil. It was hot enough to soften the rubber and one of them snapped off. Either use all-metal cooking tongs or drop the flautas in and retrieve them when they're ready. Don't leave rubber-tipped cooking tongs in the hot oil!

[4] See http://fantasticfamilyfavorites.blogspot.com/2011/04/refried-black-beans.html.

[5] See http://fantasticfamilyfavorites.blogspot.com/2011/08/mexican-rice.html.

The Brother of Amaleki1

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In the Book of Mormon [1] there are two men named Amaleki.[2] Amaleki1 was one of the Nephite record keepers who inscribed on the small plates of Nephi (Omni 1:12–30; WoM 1:10).[3] Amaleki2 is mentioned only once as part of an expedition headed by Ammon1 (Mosiah 7:26).[4] Despite the brevity of his record (just 19 verses) Amaleki1 introduces some interesting developments in the history of the Nephites. Up to this point the Nephites dwelt in a place they called the Land of Nephi. Amaleki1 records that a man named Mosiah1 was warned by the Lord that he should leave with as many as would follow him (Omni 1:12). So he and his followers journeyed into the wilderness and eventually came upon a city called Zarahemla (Omni 1:13–18). The followers of Mosiah1 and the people of Zarahemla joined together and were thence considered Nephites (Omni 1:19).[5] Amaleki1 never says why Mosiah1 was commanded to flee the Land of Nephi, but Mormon2, writing several hundred years later, lets us know that the Land of Nephi has been overrun by the Lamanites (WoM 1:13). Thus it is likely that the people who did not flee with Mosiah1 at that time were destroyed or enslaved.

Amaleki1 tells us that he was born during the time of Mosiah1 and lived during the reign of Mosiah1's son, Benjamin (Omni 1:23). In fact, when Amaleki1 grew old he entrusted the small plates of Nephi to Benjamin (Omni 1:25). Then Amaleki1 finishes his record with this account:
And now I would speak somewhat concerning a certain number who went up into the wilderness to return to the land of Nephi; for there was a large number who were desirous to possess the land of their inheritance. Wherefore, they went up into the wilderness. And their leader being a strong and mighty man, and a stiffnecked man, wherefore he caused a contention among them; and they were all slain, save fifty, in the wilderness, and they returned again to the land of Zarahemla. And it came to pass that they also took others to a considerable number, and took their journey again into the wilderness. And I, Amaleki1, had a brother, who also went with them; and I have not since known concerning them. And I am about to lie down in my grave; and these plates are full. And I make an end of my speaking. (Omni 1:27–30).
A few pages later in the Book of Mormon we get a fuller account of this expedition which left to resettle the Land of Nephi. Around 121 BC (Mosiah 7:2; [6]) Ammon1, Amaleki2, and fourteen others are sent by Mosiah2 (the son and successor of Benjamin) to go looking for them (Mosiah 7:1–6). At this point we learn that the leader of the expedition was named Zeniff and that his grandson, Limhi, is now the leader of those people (Mosiah 7:9). Chapters 9–22 of the Book of Mosiah are an account of the people of Zeniff from the time that they left until they escaped back to Zarahemla with the help of Ammon1. Additionally, chapters 23–24 are an account of the followers of Alma1, from the time that they left during the reign of Noah3 (Zeniff's son and Limhi's father) until they find their way to Zarahemla.

The first part of Zeniff's account (Mosiah 9:1–3) confirms that this is the group that Amaleki1 mentioned and that they left around 200 BC. They return to the Land of Nephi and convince the Lamanite king there to let them re-settle part of the land. They name this smaller portion that they're allowed to resettle the Land of Lehi-Nephi. Despite his over-zealousness (Mosiah 7:21; 9:3; [7]), Zeniff tried to be a righteous leader. His son, Noah3, however, did not. Under the reign of Noah3 the people engaged in idolatry and lasciviousness (Mosiah 11). At some point during Noah3's kingship (around 150 BC) a prophet comes to them decrying their wickedness. His name was Abinadi.[8] The people of the land of Lehi-Nephi reject Abinadi and try to kill him but he escapes them (Mosiah 11:20–29). Two years later (around 148 BC) the Lord sends Abinadi back (Mosiah 12:1).[9] He is captured by Noah3 and eventually martyred—but not before he convinces some of the people (particularly Alma1) to repent (Mosiah 17).

Since Amaleki1 records the departure of Zeniff's group (which included his unnamed brother) while Mosiah1 was king, we know his reign lasted at least until around 200 BC. Since Amaleki1 mentions Mosiah1 and his father Abinadom (Omni 1:10–21) does not, I suspect that Amaleki1 had already taken over the record-keeping by that point. Thus Amaleki1 must have come into possession of the small plates of Nephi sometime before 200 BC. Moving on, Mosiah2 takes the throne around 124 BC at the age of 30 (Mosiah 6:4). This means he was born around 154 BC. This gives us an approximate time at which his father, Benjamin, could've assumed the throne (around 150 BC). But Amaleki1 really could've given Benjamin the small plates of Nephi at any time during his reign. So Amaleki1 was in possession of the small plates of Nephi sometime from around 200 BC (at the latest) to around 124 BC (at the latest). Realistically, though, Amaleki1 probably wasn't younger than 15 when he took charge of the plates and there's no evidence that the Nephites had unusually long lifespans. So by the time I've estimated that Benjamin took the throne (around 150 BC), Amaleki1 would've been at least 65 years old (or probably older) and near the end of his life (Omni 1:30).[10] Furthermore, Words of Mormon 1:10–18 recounts most of the doings of Benjamin—doings which are not mentioned by Amaleki1. This would suggest that Amaleki1 turned the records over to Benjamin near the beginning of his reign.

If Amaleki1's brother wasn't killed in one of the many skirmishes between the people of Zeniff and the Lamanites (Mosiah 9:14–19; 10:6–20; 19:7–15; 20:6–12; 21:7–8, 11–12), then this gives us an approximate time frame for his life, too. So now let me present the reasons I suspect that Amaleki1's brother was none other than the prophet Abinadi who was put to death by Noah3 and his wicked priests. My first point relates to the chronology. Abinadi first began to preach around 150 BC (Mosiah 11:20) and was put to death around 148 BC (Mosiah 17:20). The text of the Book of Mormon doesn't indicate how old he was at this time, but he's traditionally depicted as an old man [11] (though I have previously mentioned that LDS art can sometimes be misleading [12]). By itself, this argument doesn't suggest that Abinadi is the brother of Amaleki1, only that he could be, given the time frame. However, it lends credence to my next argument.

Some of Abinadi's teachings are very similar to the teachings of Benjamin (cf. Mosiah 16:1 with 3:20; 16:5 with 2:38; and 16:10–11 with 3:2–25). This can be explained if Abinadi learned them from the records kept by his father and brother—the same records given to Benjamin by Amaleki1. Indeed, in Mosiah 16:1 Abinadi is interpreting a passage of Isaiah (52:8–10) that he'd just quoted (Mosiah 15:29–31) in response to a query by one of the priests of Noah3 (Mosiah 12:20–24).[13] I found this correlation between Abinadi's discourse and that of Benjamin in The Encyclopedia of Mormonism [14], but the author of that article proposed that perhaps Abinadi spent time in Zarahemla between the two times he came to the Land of Nephi to preach and thus was simply repeating doctrines he'd learned from Benjamin. I find this to be unlikely, though, since 1. Mosiah2 had no idea how the followers of Zeniff had fared (Mosiah 7:1) and presumably he would've if Abinadi had been traveling back and forth; and 2. the dates provided in the footnotes of the Book of Mormon place Abinadi's discourse to Noah3 around 148 BC and Benjamin's discourse to the people of Zarahemla around 124 BC, just before Mosiah2 takes the throne—nearly 25 years later.

Finally, Amaleki1's father was named Abinadom (Omni 1:12), which is very similar to Abinadi's name. I don't know enough about Hebrew naming conventions to say how often fathers passed their names on to their sons. A quick perusal of a few of the "begat" lists in the Bible [15] didn't reveal any, but there are a few instances in the Book of Mormon [16]: Shez1 named a son after himself (Shez2); Alma1 named a son after himself (Alma2); Helaman2 named a son after himself (Helaman3); Mormon1 named a son after himself (Mormon2); Pahoran1 named a son after himself (Pahoran2); Lachoneus1 named a son after himself (Lachoneus2); Laman2 named a son after himself (Laman3); Nephi2 named a son after himself (Nephi3), who also passed on the name to his son (Nephi4); Amos1 named a son after himself (Amos2). We also have Mosiah2 named after his grandfather (Mosiah1)—a pattern which can be found in the Bible.[17] But Abinadi isn't exactly the same as Abinadom. So what about cases in the Bible of fathers giving their sons similar names? I found a few and only one seemed to be bona fide [18]. It is rare in the Book of Mormon, too: Moroni1 named a son Moronihah (Alma 62:43); Omer named a son Emer (Ether 1:29); and Corihor named a son Cohor (and his brother, Noah2, named one of his sons Cohor). Note that these last two are Jaredites, not Nephites or Lamanites (see note [16]). There were also brothers named Mathoni and Mathonihah.[19] So while I can't say whether it's realistic that Abinadom would have a son named Abinadi (or Amaleki to have a son or grandson named Amaleki) under Hebrew naming conventions, it seems pretty likely under Nephite naming conventions.

Before I end, let me briefly visit the character of Amaleki2. I originally suspected that he was identical with Amaleki1 because the Index to the Triple Combination listed their estimated dates as 130 BC (Amaleki1) and 121 BC (Amaleki2). Thus he would be going to the Land of Nephi to find his lost brother. But after investigating the matter further (as expounded in the paragraphs above), I determined that Amaleki1 was likely no longer alive in 130 BC. Even if he was still alive, the fifteen who went with Ammon1 were all strong men (Mosiah 7:2); by this time Amaleki1 would've been at least 70 years old and not a "strong man". So now I'm leaning towards Amaleki2 being the grandson of Amaleki1. This would still give Amaleki2 a motivation to go on the expedition and to be one of the four men who actually ventured down into the Land of Nephi: to find out what happened to his great-uncle Abinadi. One mitigating note, though: Ammon1 was a descendent of Zarahemla (Mosiah 7:3, 13) and the text calls Amaleki2 one of his "brethren" (Mosiah 7:6), so it's possible that Amaleki2 was also a Mulekite, not a Nephite, like Amaleki1. However, I suspect that in this passage the word "brethren" simply refers to the fact that Amaleki2 was one of the other fifteen men on the expedition and doesn't imply consanguinity.


Notes:

[1] The Book of Mormon is a record written by ancient peoples of the Americans and which was translated by Joseph Smith by the power of God. The major groups of people are referred to as Nephites, Lamanites, and Jaredites. To read the scriptures I cite herein, start here.

[2] Amaleki is just one of several Nephite/Lamanite names that seem to have a common element m-l-k. This could be derived from the Hebrew root מלך (m-l-ḵ), which means "king" or "to rule" (see here). Other (less likely) possibilities include:
  • the Hebrew root מלח (m-l-ḥ), which means "salt" or "to dissipate" (see here)
  • the Hebrew word מל×�ך (m-l-ʾ-ḵ), which means "angel" or "messenger" (see here)
  • the Hebrew word מלה (m-l-h), which means "word" (see here)
  • the Hebrew root מלק (m-l-q), which means "to break" or "to crush" (see here).
We can't be sure, though, since we don't know to what extent Biblical Hebrew was retained in the Nephite/Lamanite languages. Other Book of Mormon names that have the m-l-k element are:  
  • Amalekiah (a Nephite traitor who lived around 50 BC—see Alma 46–51; also see notes [*] and [**] below)
  • Amulek (a Nephite missionary who lived around 82–74 BC; see Alma 8–16, 34–35)
  • Melek (a land in the territory of the Nephites; see Alma 8:3–4; 35:13; 45:18)
  • Mulek (the son of the Israelite King, Zedekiah—see note [5]; he lived around 589 BC; see Mosiah 25:2; Hel. 6:10; 8:21; there are also a city (Alma 51–53) and a territory (Hel. 6:10) with the same name) 
  • Muloki (a Nephite missionary who lived around 90 BC; see Alma 20–21)
The Nephite dissenter Amlici (who lived around 87 BC; see Alma 2) should also be included in this list. His name is traditionally pronounced AM-lih-sai (mouse over for IPA), but J. Christopher Conkling (based on work done by Royal Skousen, see here) makes the argument that the Amlicites (followers of Amlici; see Alma 2–3) were the same as the Amalekites that show up later in the same record (see Alma 21–24, 27, 43). Oliver Cowdery spelled the names inconsistently and the printer innocuously picked one spelling for the verses in Alma 2–3 and another for the later verses. One thing we can glean is that the name Amlici should be pronounced AM-lih-kai, since the letters c and k are used interchangeably by Oliver Cowdery (regardless of whether the letter c precedes an i) and while the letter c can be pronounced /s/ or /k/, the letter k is only pronounced /k/ and never /s/. Note that this means we may also need to be distrustful of the vowels that Oliver Cowdery wrote down. It's possible that one time when Joseph said the word meh-LEHK, Oliver wrote down Melek (e.g. Alma 8:3–4) and another time wrote down Mulek (e.g. Hel. 6:10) and thus we should pronounce it without a yod (muh-LEHK, not MYOO-lehk). In other words, the land named Melek and the land named Mulek may also be identical (but I have not investigated how they are described geographically). One more thing: in the Bible there is a man named Amalek who sired a race called the Amalekites (Gen. 36; Ex. 17; Num. 13, 24–25; Judg. 3, 5–7, 10; 1 Sam. 14–15, 28, 30; 2 Sam. 1, 8; 1 Chr. 1, 4, 18). It is suspected that his name (×¢ֲמָלֵ×§) is not Hebrew (and thus unrelated to the concept of kingship) but is of foreign derivation (see here and here). We cannot exclude the possibility that some or all of the Nephite/Lamanite m-l-k names are related to this word.

[3] For a fairly comprehensive diagram of the many different records that were compiled (and often abridged) into the Book of Mormon, see http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/images/Basic BOM Plates 2.jpg. You can also read this description which is part of the introduction to the Book of Mormon.

[4] Individuals who share names are numbered according to their appearance, chronologically, in the unique books of LDS Scripture (the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price which are often published together in a volume referred to as the Triple Combination). Thus the patriarch (Moses 7) is Noah1, the Jaredite king (Ether 7) is Noah2, and the evil Nephite king (Mosiah 11) is Noah3. On the other hand, the patriarch Benjamin never appears in the Triple Combination, so the Nephite King is designated Benjamin, not Benjamin2.

[5] The people of Zarahemla were not descendents of Nephi, but were descended from one of the sons of Zedekiah, named Mulek (see note [2]). These people are informally called Mulekites, after their progenitor, Mulek, but the word "Mulekites" doesn't actually appear anywhere in the Scriptures. It has been posited that the Mulek of the Book of Mormon is synonymous with the Malchiah ben Hammelech (i.e. "Malchiah, the son of the King") mentioned in Jer. 38:6 (see Tvedtnes, John A., Gee, John, & Roper, Matthew. (2000) "Book of Mormon Names Attested in Ancient Hebrew Inscriptions," Journal of Book of Mormon Studies, 9 (1): 40–51 and Chadwick, Jeffrey R. (2003) "Has the Seal of Mulek Been Found?" Journal of Book of Mormon Studies, 12 (2): 72–83.). For this to make sense you should understand that Mulek is an acceptable hypocorism (nickname) for someone named Malchiah.

[6] The dates I report are derived from the footnotes provided in the Book of Mormon (e.g. the date next to this footnote can be seen in the online edition of the Book of Mormon here, as a footnote to verse 2) and/or from the dates listed in the Index to the Triple Combination (available in its entirety here). The dates are best guesses, but there is thus far no definitive proof that they are completely accurate.

[7] For an interesting take on Zeniff, see Samuelson, Cecil O. (2011) "Appropriate Zeal." BYU Magazine Provo, UT: BYU).

[8] John A. Tvedtnes speculates that the name Abinadi could be derived from the Hebrew root �ב (ʾ[a]-b "father") + נדד (n-d-d, "to wander"), with the possible meaning "father of my wandering". See Tvedtnes, John A. (2002) "Hebrew Names in the Book of Mormon." (.pdf), p. 3.

[9] I always feel a little chagrined for Abinadi in this verse. He enters the city in disguise so the people won't recognize him and try to kill him or turn him over to Noah. But as soon as he has their attention he tells them his name. Oops!

[10] This is at variance with the ca. 130 BC date reported for Amaleki1 in the Index to the Triple Combination (here; but see note [6]) However I feel I've made a good case for why the provided date would be inaccurate.

[11] See, for example, this painting of Abinadi by Arnold Friberg.

[12] See my post Lehi's Family.

[13] This passage of Isaiah is also quoted in 3 Ne. 16:18–20.

[14] Cramer, Lew W. "Abinadi" in Ludlow, Daniel H., ed. (1992) The Encyclopedia of Mormonism, vol. 1 (New York, NY: Macmillan Publishing Co.), pp. 6–7. ISBN: 002904040X.

[15] I checked Gen. 4, 5, 10–11, 22, 25; Num. 26; Ruth 4; 1 Chr. 1–9, 14; 2 Chr. 11; Neh. 12; Mt. 1; and Lk. 3. There also weren't any instances in the Jaredite record (Ether 1), but there you do have the interesting case, though, where there are two instances in the same line of a man named Coriantum who named a son Com (Ether 1:13 and 1:27; see also Ether 9:24–27 and Ether 10:31–11:4).

[16] Giving sons their father's name doesn't appear until after the Jaredite record is found—so perhaps it is a Jaredite custom adopted by the Nephites at this time.

[17] A few cases I've found: Nahor named after his grandfather (Gen. 11:24–26); Azariah named after his grandfather (1 Chr. 6:9–10); Benjamin named after his grandfather (1 Chr. 7:6, 10); Tahath named after his grandfather (1 Chr. 7:20); etc.

[18] Ehud named a son Ahihud (1 Chr. 8:6–7; if you follow the links you'll see that in Hebrew these are quite dissimilar); Shimhi named a son Shimrath (1 Chr. 8:21; if you follow the links you'll see that in Hebrew these are quite dissimilar); Imri named a son Omri (1 Chr. 9:4; if you follow the links you'll see that in Hebrew these are quite dissimilar); and Meshillemith named a son Meshullam (1 Chr. 9:12; this is the only case I could find where one name was likely derived from another).

[19] They were two of the twelve Nephite disciples called by Jesus Christ when he visited the American continent after His resurrection (3 Ne. 19:4). Interestingly, among the twelve disciples there were also a Kumen and a Kumenonhi (though there's no indication that they were related) and two men named Jonas.

[*] It has been proposed that Book of Mormon names that end in -iah or -ihah correspond to Biblical names that end in -iah or -ijah, which have the meaning "Jehovah" (see Nibley, Hugh. (1988) "Proper Names in the Book of Mormon", ch. 22 of An Approach to the Book of Mormon (Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book, Co.) ISBN: 0875791387; Nibley, Hugh. (1993) "Lecture 6: 1 Nephi 1; Jeremiah 29" in Teachings of the Book of Mormon: Semester 1 (Provo, UT: FARMS) ISBN: 1591565715; and Nibley, Hugh. (1993) "Lecture 45: Alma 4–5" in Teachings of the Book of Mormon: Semester 2 (Provo, UT: FARMS) ISBN: 1591565723.) Thus the name Amalickiah could mean something along the lines of "Jehovah is my king", which is unfortunate, given his apostasy. It is disputed however, that the -ihah ending refers to Jehovah (see Hoskisson, Paul. (2009) "It Is OK Not to Have Every Answer: The Book of Mormon Onomastic Ending -(i)hah." Journal of the Book of Mormon and Other Restoration Scripture, 18 (1): 48–55.).

[**] The Pronunciation Guide for the 1989 edition of the Book of Mormon erroneously suggests the pronunciation uh-mal-uh-KIH-uh (mouse over for IPA) for Amalickiah. This has been corrected in subsequent editions and online (see here) to uh-mal-uh-KAI-uh.

Movie Review: Eclipse (with RiffTrax)

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There are a few people in this world that I feel a profound pity for. Among them are the 335 men named Edward Cullen [1], the 360 men named Jacob Black [2], and the 24 women named Bella Swan.[3] That pity is due to their unfortunate and un-sought-for association with the Twilight series of books and films. I cannot bring myself to read the books, but thanks to RiffTrax [4], I can experience the movies buffered from their full effect.

My verdict: This RiffTrax, like New Moon [5], was commercial free, so we had an easier time syncing up the RiffTrax. Some of my favorite riffs were: "Oh, no! The movie's become self-aware!" and a reference to Antoine Dodson.[6] However, it had a lot more unnecessary sexual references than the others.

Some comments about the actual movie: There is seriously nothing appealing about Bella for both Edward and Jacob to be so obsessed with her (except for the gimmicky explanation that to Edward she smells especially savory). The way the werewolves run around in a pack and play while in human form is reminiscent of dogs or wolves. But since they were always shirtless, it made them seem like homosexuals.


Notes:

[1] 165 named Edward Cullen + 32 named Eddie Cullen + 19 named Eduardo Cullen + 8 named Edwardo Cullen + 6 named Ed Cullen + 5 named Eddy Cullen. See http://www.census-gov.us/list/CULLEN/.

[2] 313 named Jacob Black + 47 named Jake Black. See http://www.census-gov.us/list/BLACK/.

[3] 13 named Isabel Swan + 3 named Bella Swan + 3 named Isabelle Swan + 3 named Isabella Swan + 2 named Isabell Swan. See http://www.census-gov.us/list/SWAN/.

[4] RiffTrax is the successor to Mystery Science Theater 3000 (to read some of my MST3K reviews, see here, here, and here). Rather than record their commentary over the movie (which requires them to purchase distribution rights), now they just record their audio commentary and you play it while watching the movie. You can preview and/or purchase the RiffTrax commentary for Eclipse here.

[5] See my reviews of the RiffTrax for Twilight (here) and for New Moon (here).

[6] If you don't know who Antoine Dodson is, watch this video and the autotuned version before experiencing this RiffTrax.

Image attributions:

Solar Eclipse is by Denys, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Eclipse 2010 Hao 1.JPG.

Movie Review: New Moon (with RiffTrax)

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In 2005 I enrolled in a creative writing class at BYU. I didn't need to take it for credit, I took it because I wanted some motivation to write the many story ideas I have.[1] We had three major writing assignments. The first had to be a short story or a chapter of a novel. The second had to be three poems.[2] For the third we could choose whether to write another short story/chapter or three more poems. The majority of the students in the class (there were only about twenty of us) were girls who were Freshmen or Sophomores and were English majors. I was a bit alarmed that for the first assignment three of them wrote a chapter of a book that dealt with a normal girl in high school who unknowingly started dating a vampire.[3] I didn't know it then, but one year before the novel Twilight had premiered and these impressionable young girls, fresh out of high school, were caught up in the frenzy of it to the point that they were essentially writing knock-offs or fan fiction.[4] That experience left such a bad taste in my mouth that the only way I could bring myself to watch the Twilight movies was with the "spoonful of sugar" that is RiffTrax.[5]

My verdict: When we watched the RiffTrax for Twilight, we constantly had to re-sync the RiffTrax with the movie because of commercial breaks.[6] We had an easier time syncing this one up since our recording didn't have any commercials. Hands down my favorite line was "The Twilight series summed up in nine words." The frequent riffs on "change me" were pretty funny, too—probably more so since we have a baby, now. As before, there were several unintentionally funny scenes that left RiffTrax guys speechless. For example, when Bella cuts herself and Jasper loses control, he looks hilarious, not freaky.
And a few comments about the movie itself: The movie tried to be character-driven, but since Bella doesn't have any character, it just sort of wandered. It didn't help that Kristen Stewart really is a terrible actress. Her speech is halting and she's unable to convey emotion through her facial expressions. Near the end they discover that vampires' special abilities don't work on Bella—even though Jasper and Alice have both successfully used their vampire special abilities on her…[7] Jacob looks a lot better with shorter hair, but the shirtlessness was really quite gratuitous. Edward, as always, looks like he's been dead for several centuries.


Notes:

[1] I keep several MS Word documents filled with story and poetry ideas. The story ideas are further sorted according to genre: fantasy, horror, science fiction, etc.

[2] One of the poems I wrote for the class can be seen here.

[3] We were so merciless about their writing that, thankfully, for their third assignment they wrote more poetry instead of subjecting us to more teen vampire romance schlock.

[4] Let's face it: Stephanie Myers wasn't writing fiction; she was daydreaming with her hands on a keyboard.

[5] RiffTrax is the successor to Mystery Science Theater 3000 (to read some of my MST3K reviews, see here, here, and here). Rather than record their commentary over the movie (which requires them to purchase distribution rights), now they just record their audio commentary and you play it while watching the movie. You can preview and/or purchase the RiffTrax commentary for New Moon here. For other humorous treatments, see 30-Second Bunny Theater: New Moon and Bad Lip Reading: Edward and Bella.

[6] See my review of the RiffTrax for Twilight here. (You can also read my review of the third movie, Eclipse, with RiffTrax, here.)

[7] The lead vampire that discovers this also appears in the Underworld series, which is about vampires vs. werewolves—a dichotomy I'm getting rather tired of.

Image attributions:

New Moon is by Tomruen, available at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Crescent Moon.jpg.

Custom Munchkin Door Cards

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Many years ago, when I was an undergraduate at BYU I was a member of a book club. The president of that book club, my friend Jonathan, discovered the game Munchkin and introduced the rest of us to it. It is a spoof of role-playing games (RPGs), particularly Dungeons and Dragons, and to a lesser extent collectible card games, like Magic: The Gathering. In RPGs a Munchkin is a player that plays competitively, even though RPGs are inherently noncompetitive.[1] Thus the game Munchkin encourages you to play in that fashion—in fact, it's tagline is "Kill the Monsters. Steal the Treasure. Stab Your Buddy." In addition to the original games, there are also several expansion packs. This last Christmas [2] I got the sixth expansion pack, Demented Dungeons. It came with a few blank cards with the implication that I create my own custom cards. So I came up with a few.[3]



Before introducing the cards I've made, let me first tell you how I made these. I used Inkscape to make the drawings.[4] As you can see in the picture above, there are two types of card: door cards (left) and treasure cards (right). The cards are a 55 × 87 mm rectangle with rounded edges and the inside of the border is 50 × 82 mm.[5] Next, the colors. The border color (as well as the color for the outlines of the drawings and the text) is #270b00 (=R:39 G:11 B:0). The background color of the door cards is #e7daa7 (=R:231 G:218 B:167). And the background color of the treasure cards is a pattern, but #ffc654 (=R:255 G:198 B:84) is close enough.


Next, the fonts. The font I used for the title of each card (and the title on the box) is called Quasimodo.[6] The font I used for the rest of the text on the card is called Caslon Antique.[7] Font sizes are as follows: for card titles, 16 pt.; for monster levels/bonus points and the words "bad stuff", 12 pt.; for descriptions (including the descriptions of the "bad stuff"), usable by, and text at the bottom of the card (race/treasure/class/level/steed//big/hands/gold pieces), 11 pt. The beginning of normal text paragraphs on the card are indented 3 spaces. Normal text paragraphs are left justified. The text at the bottom of the card is bolded. The words "bad stuff" are both italicized and bolded. I also added a little icon at the bottom to indicate that these are part of the "Crooked Cards" Expansion Pack.


When drawing monsters or other characters for these cards in Inkscape, make your lines 2 pixels wide. Fill colors that are available to you are, from left to right: #270b00 (=R:39 G:11 B:0); #46361d (=R:70 G:54 B:29); #5f5025 (=R:95 G:80 B:37); #7e7346 (=R:126 G:115 B:70); #9f9574 (=R:159 G:149 B:116); #c0b8a1 (=R:192 G:184 B:161); and, of course, white (#ffffff; =R:255 G:255 B:255).

And now to introduce you to my custom door cards:


First up is a door card featuring a monster: the Abominable Snow Monster from the classic Windows game SkiFree.[8] When you venture too far outside of the map (either up or down) this creature rushes out and devours you. You can try to get away, but he inevitably catches you. (If you evade him for long enough, though, a second shows up.) After he's done eating you, he celebrates. Now you finally have a chance to beat him. But he's a tough bugger, so if you lose the "bad stuff" is bad.


Next up we have a door card featuring a monster: a conjoined chicken.[9] One of the baby books Lillian has features a picture of two chicks. They are so close together that it looks like one chick with two heads and four legs. So I traced it and made it into a Munchkin monster. I modeled the characteristics of the card after the Large Angry Chicken, but doubled everything.


This one is a door card that's laden with superb prose, careful and believable characterization, and a meticulous and intricate plot: Sparkly Vampire Eyebrows. Yeah… This is a not-very-subtle reference to the Twilight series [10] and to the fact that Robert Pattinson (a.k.a. Edward) seems to do most of his acting with his unusually bushy eyebrows. The reasoning behind the bonus against female players should be self-evident. The bonus against elves is because that's how the Munchkin creators treat that race—as though they're effeminate.[11] The "bad stuff" alludes to a couple of the worst lines from the movie (and presumably from the book).


This card, like the previous one, takes a jab at the Twilight series. This time it's making fun of the fact that the character of Jacob Black (who is a werewolf) spends most of his time in the second and third movies [12] with nothing on but a pair of cutoffs—even when it's snowing. Hence barewolf.


This one is pretty self-explanatory. Ew.


The main thing I remember about the 1971 film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is how much I hate the Oompa Loompas. They look freaky, they show up all the time, and their song is so obnoxious. Gah! So the bad stuff is calculated to reflect that. At least I don't make you sing their song! Their name is similar to the Goomba, the ubiquitous enemy creature in Super Mario Bros. that resembles a shiitake mushroom. I replaced the Oompa Loompa's heads with Goombas. I really wanted them to still have the weird green hair of the Oompa Loompas, but everything I tried just looked funny.


There are lots of mystery shows (including mystery comedies, like The Pink Panther series and Private Eyes) which have paintings with eyes. Or, more properly, the house everyone is staying in has an old painting with a secret passageway behind it. At some point someone is shown peaking out of the painting. We know it's a person because their eyes move around. A lot. It's supposed to be scary, but I doubt that it is—unless you have ommetaphobia.


Another card that requires no explanation.


I can recall seeing commercials for an after-school animated series called Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I never watched it, but I can still remember at least part of the theme song from the commercials.[13]


Another bad one for emmetaphobes. This one refers to the statement often seen in text messages, IMs, chat rooms, etc.: "rolling eye(ball)s". This phrase is often used to suggest mild annoyance or to imply that you find whatever the other person just said or did to be corny or cheesy. To make things interesting, I make you roll the dice to figure out how many eyeballs you must fight. So even though the card says they're Level 1, by rolling three dice (or if you don't have three, role one die three times), you're effectively facing monsters that are anywhere from Level 3 to 18. When you read the bad stuff, I imagine you'll roll your eyes. Mission accomplished. One minor inconsistency, though. I couldn't find a good way to represent rolling eyeballs, so I made them bounce.


You're probably familiar with the nursery rhyme "The Eensey Weensey Spider" (or some variation thereof, like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"). Well, despite it's diminutive size, it's actually quite deadly. So Little Miss Muffet was right to run away. It's diminished power against Halflings is in reference to the confrontation between Frodo and Shelob at the end of The Two Towers (the book, not the movie).


No one has ever actually seen this monster, but at some point in our lives we've all known it was there. If you jump out of bed to run away, it's got you.  And if you manage to elude him at the start, he has a compatriot hiding in the closet who's sure to catch you. So all you can do is hide under the covers and hope they leave you alone. But in Munchkin you must fight. Good luck.


I think most of you (if not all) can tell this is an allusion to the Fighting Trees in the film The Wizard of Oz (or the Book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz). They have an extra advantage against Halflings because the Halflings mistake them for Ents. They also have an advantage against wizards because of the tree that gave Schmendrick so much trouble in the animated film The Last Unicorn.


The title of this one refers to the film The Princess Bride. I say the film and not the book because in the film it's rather obvious that the R.O.U.S.s are men in rat suits. I made this a picture a combination of Mickey Mouse, Chuck E. Cheese, and Jerry Mouse. But just to make sure we all know what's really being talked about, here, I left a clue in the "Bad Stuff". I also made one in color.

I also thought about doing a card based on the movie SHE [14], but since I've never actually seen it, I had no idea what to draw on the card, nor what type of card to make it, nor what conditions to set on it. It just seems like it would make a good card. So that will just have to go out as a suggestion for someone else to make.


Notes:

[1] See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchkin (role-playing games).

[2] See my post Lillian's First Christmas.

[3] There are also some custom Munchkin cards I've found on the internet that I like: It's My Turn (on the right), The Old Sherwood Shuffle (bottom, center), Lose an Arm (bottom, right),  Necklace of Shrunken Heads, Random Encounter, Holy Hand Grenade (top), Poser (but it shouldn't be worth any gold pieces since it's a door card), Monster Bodyguard, Cool-Looking Curvy Dagger, Inflation, It's So Fluffy I'm Gonna Die, Littlefoot, Unnatural Deed, and Peanut Butter and Orc Guts Spreader. goodbunny2000 over at deviantART has some good cards, but he also has some naughty cards so I can't link to any of them. Proceed at your own discretion. You can also get official Munchkin level counters here. You can the rules for Epic Munchkin for free here. You can learn about (and purchase) Munchkin Silver Pieces here. You can watch a demo of how to play Munchkin here.

[4] If you're unsure what Inkscape is, see my post Raster Graphics and Vector Graphics.

[5] That's approximately 2 3/16 × 3 7/16 inches or 194.882 × 308.268 pixels for the outside border and approximately 1 15/16 × 3 3/16 inches or 177.165 × 290.551 pixels for the inside border. I chose metric over standard measurement so I wouldn't have to convert the sixteenths of inches to decimals.

[6] You can download it here. This appears to be exactly the same font.

[7] You can download it here. This is really close, but isn't quite the right font: the fs look different.

[8] Learn more here (where you can also download the game for free).

[9] I briefly considered giving it one more head and making it a Turducken, but decided that that would be too busy.

[10] Read my review of the RiffTrax treatment of Twilight here.

[11] Perhaps that's a veiled commentary about the type of role player who chooses to be an elf?

[12] Read my reviews (with RiffTrax) here and here.

[13] See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtURoWuzfpE.

[14] See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She (film).

Image attributions:

The images contained herein are my own creations. However, they are based on materials produced by Steve Jackson Games which are Copyright © 2012 by Steve Jackson Games. All Rights Reserved. My derivative works are not intended as copyright violations in any way. They are simply suggestions for cards that can be used to supplement the Munchkin card game. By themselves they are insufficient and require the purchase of the original Munchkin game (which I encourage you to do). All other copyrighted materials referenced in this post are used in a parodic manner and thus do not constitute a violation of the rights of the respective copyright holders.